Dear
Professor Brad,
I am Tan Ching Wei, currently pursuing a
degree in Telematics (Intelligent Transport System Engineering). In 2017, I
graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a Diploma in Electronics Computer and
Communication.
At 13, I built my first desktop, and since
then anything related to computers and technology grabbed my attention. With an
inquisitive mind, I continue to explore the wonders of technology. My
post-secondary education exposed me to Electronics, in particular, Information
Technology. With the exposure, I knew that that was the area I was truly
interested in. My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time, leading me to apply for this Telematics course.
One of my strengths is being able to explain a
concept or an idea to someone regardless of him/her having any prior background
knowledge. Having a passion for electronics, I derive joy from explaining to
others about it. One time, I was able to explain in a manner comprehensible to
kids in a Science Fair held in Nanyang Polytechnic. My greatest communication
weakness is public speaking. One time, I had to do a presentation in front of
my class. Knowing that I was terrible speaking in front of a crowd, I had my
script memorized, hoping to regurgitate the words out smoothly. I diligently
spent hours tucked away with my script. However, when it was time to show
everyone my fruits of labour, I froze midway and my mind went blank. Not even
the pointers on the slides could get my brain working again.
Through this module, I hope to grasp effective communication
skills and habits. Not only will this ease future conversations in the
workplace, but also heighten my confidence in the aspect of public speaking.
This module will definitely provide a great platform for me to practice new
techniques that have been taught.
Sincerely,
Tan
Ching Wei
- Edited 03/10/2019
Hi Ching Wei, you did a good job on your introduction letter.
ReplyDeleteJust a opinion of mine,
Good content and flow.
The weakness can be separated from the strength in another paragraph.
Sentences can be connected better.
I have a better understanding of you after reading it, it was good meeting you through this module. I hope to know you further in the coming months and working more closely as a classmates and friend. Cheers!
Hey Ching Wei, you have a very well written letter, it lets me know more about you.
ReplyDeleteIt's very cool how u can build a desktop at such a young age.
However, you can improve this letter by briefly explainning what you are going to write in this letter in your first paragraph.
Good work!
Dear Ching Wei,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, honest and informative reflection. I appreciate that you explain why you have taken up this telematics course and how you connect that with your deep interest in technology. You also do well in describing how you enjoy explaining your "passion for electronics." What would enhance this essay is if your focus on tech included info on the source of the interest. What got you started?
In addition, what is it about technology in general and electronics in specific that makes you excited? Get to the source. What inspired you to build that desktop? What inspires you to interact with kids at a science fair? In short, while you've done a decent job, do some 'deeper diving' on the topic, even if it's only in a sentence or two.
You also touch on each of the other points required for the assignment, with decent expalantion. I really appreciate how you reveal the trauma of that one presentation and your feelings that you can improve your presentation skills with this module. We will certainly address those.
Of course, it's also important for students to consider language use. You have some minor errors in the use of capital letters but overall this letter is well written. Only the paragraphing, and the lack of a good topic sentence to start the paragraph on communication skills, needs some polishing.
Oh well, there is one sentence that can be cleaned up: My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time and thus leading me to apply for this Telematics course. > My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time, leading me to apply for this telematics course.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for your feedback! I will put your suggestions to use in my future writings and reports.
Also, I have made the appropriate changes above.
Sincerely,
Ching Wei