Tuesday, September 17, 2019

TLM1010 Formal Writing


Dear Professor Brad,
 
I am Tan Ching Wei, currently pursuing a degree in Telematics (Intelligent Transport System Engineering). In 2017, I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic with a Diploma in Electronics Computer and Communication.

At 13, I built my first desktop, and since then anything related to computers and technology grabbed my attention. With an inquisitive mind, I continue to explore the wonders of technology. My post-secondary education exposed me to Electronics, in particular, Information Technology. With the exposure, I knew that that was the area I was truly interested in. My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time, leading me to apply for this Telematics course.

One of my strengths is being able to explain a concept or an idea to someone regardless of him/her having any prior background knowledge. Having a passion for electronics, I derive joy from explaining to others about it. One time, I was able to explain in a manner comprehensible to kids in a Science Fair held in Nanyang Polytechnic. My greatest communication weakness is public speaking. One time, I had to do a presentation in front of my class. Knowing that I was terrible speaking in front of a crowd, I had my script memorized, hoping to regurgitate the words out smoothly. I diligently spent hours tucked away with my script. However, when it was time to show everyone my fruits of labour, I froze midway and my mind went blank. Not even the pointers on the slides could get my brain working again.

Through this module, I hope to grasp effective communication skills and habits. Not only will this ease future conversations in the workplace, but also heighten my confidence in the aspect of public speaking. This module will definitely provide a great platform for me to practice new techniques that have been taught.

Sincerely,
Tan Ching Wei
- Edited 03/10/2019

5 comments:

  1. Hi Ching Wei, you did a good job on your introduction letter.

    Just a opinion of mine,

    Good content and flow.
    The weakness can be separated from the strength in another paragraph.
    Sentences can be connected better.

    I have a better understanding of you after reading it, it was good meeting you through this module. I hope to know you further in the coming months and working more closely as a classmates and friend. Cheers!

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  2. Hey Ching Wei, you have a very well written letter, it lets me know more about you.
    It's very cool how u can build a desktop at such a young age.
    However, you can improve this letter by briefly explainning what you are going to write in this letter in your first paragraph.

    Good work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Ching Wei,

    Thank you for this clear, honest and informative reflection. I appreciate that you explain why you have taken up this telematics course and how you connect that with your deep interest in technology. You also do well in describing how you enjoy explaining your "passion for electronics." What would enhance this essay is if your focus on tech included info on the source of the interest. What got you started?
    In addition, what is it about technology in general and electronics in specific that makes you excited? Get to the source. What inspired you to build that desktop? What inspires you to interact with kids at a science fair? In short, while you've done a decent job, do some 'deeper diving' on the topic, even if it's only in a sentence or two.

    You also touch on each of the other points required for the assignment, with decent expalantion. I really appreciate how you reveal the trauma of that one presentation and your feelings that you can improve your presentation skills with this module. We will certainly address those.

    Of course, it's also important for students to consider language use. You have some minor errors in the use of capital letters but overall this letter is well written. Only the paragraphing, and the lack of a good topic sentence to start the paragraph on communication skills, needs some polishing.

    Oh well, there is one sentence that can be cleaned up: My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time and thus leading me to apply for this Telematics course. > My passion and interest in this field bloomed with time, leading me to apply for this telematics course.

    I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Dear Professor Brad,

      Thank you for your feedback! I will put your suggestions to use in my future writings and reports.
      Also, I have made the appropriate changes above.

      Sincerely,
      Ching Wei

      Delete

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